No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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