I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
