so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
