i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
