Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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