I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
