I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
