Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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