You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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