I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
