I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
