Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
