haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
