just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Drunk is not a location!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
