I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
