he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
