Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i think im in europe. pls send help
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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