Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
