i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
