why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
