so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
its not stalking. its research.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
