I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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