u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
