Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
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