Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
