In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
