if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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