hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
