Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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