Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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