What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
