I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
