He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
