just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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