he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
