i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
