i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
