just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Floor bacon is actually really good
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
