ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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