Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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