I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
