I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
