super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
