so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
