I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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