So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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