He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
