I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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