Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
