He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
